


Strangers to Suffering

by orphan_account



Category: D.Gray-man
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-08-10
Packaged: 2021-03-04 21:20:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25043035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: A place where I put my Lenalee/Lavi fluff stuff where they're a really cute secret couple because sometimes I need happiness when D.Gray-Man makes me sad. Wasn't supposed to get lewd but did. Lewd chapters will be clearly marked.---"Lavi?" She finally whispered, looking anywhere but the boy beside her."Hm?" Lavi responded without looking up from his book."I..." She paused, taking a deep breath. Her hands fiddled nervously with the hem of her skirt, her cheeks feeling warm. "I think I like you."
Relationships: Lavi/Lenalee Lee
Comments: 3
Kudos: 20





	1. Histories

Lenalee didn't mind bringing everyone coffee. In fact, she kind of liked it. The Science Division always brightened up when they saw her--not just because of the coffee of course, but also because she had become a little sister to all of them ever since her brother had joined the Order. It was a small gesture of hers that showed just how much she appreciated them and all of the work they had been doing, especially since she knew how much her brother could procrastinate on his work. 

This time, she had brought an extra one as well. Lavi had shut himself in the library studying the records of the Order as Bookman had ordered him to do on their downtime between missions. He seemed happy enough to do it, but she had only seen him briefly at dinner when he had gotten something from Jerry and promptly returned with it to the library.

Quietly, she opened the doors to the library. Sometimes the library was uncharacteristically loud--usually when the Science Division were looking for something Komui had vaguely referenced. Today, however, it was abnormally quiet. At first she had thought that maybe she had missed Lavi and he had finished, but as she walked through the rows of books, she finally spotted him in a table in the back. A smile formed on her lips and she moved to quietly set the tray down, afraid to disrupt him too much.

Lenalee lingered for a moment however, watching him as he scanned the pages without saying anything. He was probably too enveloped in the book to even notice her presence. She lingered there for a moment, eyes focusing on the way his visible eye scanned the pages, then down his nose to trace the bow of his lips. Her heart skipped a beat upon realizing what she was doing and her body visibly tightened, though if Lavi noticed, he still didn't say anything.

"You can sit if you want." He finally said, breaking the silence.

"Ah--" She paused, glancing towards the door of the library. "I don't want to disturb you."

He finally glanced up at her, his normal goofy grin finding it's home on his face. "You won't, I could use the break." With a nod and a matching smile, she sat in a chair near him.

"What are you reading?"

Lavi closed the book, shrugging his shoulders a little. "Nothing, really. Just trying to get some more detail about a mission a while back. I'd read about it in another book, but this one has some more detail."

"Anything interesting?"

"Not really." Lavi let out a small chuckle and kicked his legs up on the corner of the table before grabbing the cup of coffee. "Thank you, by the way."

"You're welcome. You've been working hard." The two of them smiled.

"You have too, though. I've noticed you've been training a lot recently."

"Not more than normal." She shrugged.

"If you say so." Lavi said, obviously having noted that she was indeed training _a lot_ more than she used to. The new Innocence was awkward in comparison to her previous boots. Her movements were more fluid now, but she still didn't know the capabilities of them yet. 

A quiet settled between the two of them for a moment as Lenalee thought about the boots. She moved her legs closer together, feeling the crystallized blood anklets knock against each other gently. Her lips pressed tightly for a moment as her dark eyes moved to trace the pattern of the wooden table.

"Thank you. For trying to protect me when the Level 4 attacked."

Lavi nodded, his green eye glancing back to the book he had been reading. Lenalee understood it must have been awkward for her to bring it up--Lavi wasn't supposed to _have_ attachments, but he had stepped in and been her protector all the same. "I think Allen would kill me if I let anything happen to you." He finally said with a small chuckle. "Probably Kanda, too."

"Don't forget Komui." She offered. Lavi made a grimaced face, imagining how mutilated his body would have been by Komui if he had allowed his little sister to get crushed by falling debris.

A quietness settled between them once more, which Lenalee didn't find uncomfortable, but it seemed Lavi had. He picked up the book once more, waving it in the air.

"I guess I should get back to work." 

Lenalee nodded and scooted her chair out a bit before glancing towards him once more and pausing. "Lavi--" He glanced up from finding his page once again back towards her. "Do you mind if I watch you work for a bit?"

His brows knit together, but he finally shrugged his shoulders. "I could probably find a bedtime story if you'd like." Lenalee smiled, but shook her head.

"Just what you're reading is fine. It's just...quiet here, I guess. It's nice." She said as she scooted her chair in once more. Lavi moved his boots off the table, settling in to hunch over the book on the table once more.

And it _was_ quiet. Lenalee watched him read, sometimes flipping to previous pages with a furrowed brow when he seemed to find discrepancies in what was written or what he had read previously. She couldn't help but smile a little as she watched him mull over the handwriting or let out a small chuckle when he found something particularly humorous. She particularly enjoyed his hands moving through his hair or when his lips turned into a tight line. He looked--

 _No_. _That's not appropriate_.

She felt her hands get clammy, which she tried to mitigate by running it along the pleats of her skirt, but the sweat just seemed to come back. Why was she so nervous all of the sudden? It was just Lavi. And really, it wasn't just now that she felt nervous around him. He had been making her nervous since the Level 4 had attacked. When he had climbed over her to protect her from the debris, seeing him that close to her had sent her heart beating out of her chest. It hadn't been the time to properly address that emotion, but now she had time to mull it over in her mind. What had changed?

"Lavi?" She finally whispered, looking anywhere but the boy beside her.

"Hm?" Lavi responded without looking up from his book.

"I..." She paused, taking a deep breath. Her hands fiddled nervously with the hem of her skirt, her cheeks feeling warm. "I think I like you."

When she dared look towards him, Lavi's cheeks were flushed a bright red. She had seen this before, but this felt weird. This was because of something _she_ had said. Her own face turned a brighter red and she stood up quickly from her chair, causing a loud noise to fill the library as it scraped across the floor. "I-I'll just go." She finally said, not waiting for a reply as she turned on her heel.

Lavi was quick, though. He moved from his own chair much quieter than her, and hurried to grab her hand. "Don't go." He pleaded. His own hands felt clammy against hers as well and Lenalee hadn't considered how awkward or embarrassing her confession might be to him. "Please." He finally said before letting go of her hand.

Lenalee nodded, though she didn't turn to face him. Her hands moved to her cheeks, willing the warmth to go away. God, she was such an idiot. What was she thinking? Bookmen weren't allowed to have attachments. Even being as close as they were was a risk to him and they both knew it. 

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything." She finally admitted, shaking her head a little.

"No--I just, I'm..." He paused for a moment and she heard him let out a sigh. "Surprised, I guess." She nodded, finally turning to face him once again. She was surprised to see his face was still bright red and when she turned towards him, he couldn't meet her gaze and nervously rubbed the back of his head. "I didn't...think you...not for _me_."

It dawned on her that he was nervous too and she couldn't help but let out a little giggle. His body stiffened and his eyes darted towards her, "What?"

She shook her head, allowing the smile to linger on her lips a little longer. "Who else would it be?" She finally asked, taking in just how cute he looked when he was flustered.

"I don't know, Allen? He seems like your...type." Lenalee's expression turned to one of absurdity before she took a step closer towards Lavi.

"He's like a brother to me," She stated. Lenalee's heart was beating faster at the closeness of the other and the six inches between them was as close as she dared. She took note at how much redder his face got at just that small movement and didn't want to scare him off _just_ yet. Even if this conversation was all that came from this, she hadn't scared him off yet. That was good.

"You...know I like you too, right?" His tone was abnormally serious and the one visible eye finally met hers again. This time, it was her turn to turn an even brighter red. She mentally cursed him for saying such a thing when she had finally begun to cool down.

"I mean, I...I _hoped_ , but I didn't know." She admitted. He couldn't help but laugh and this time, it was him closing the gap between the two of them.

His hands cupped her cheeks and tilted her head up towards him and he closed the gap between them quickly, but gently. Lenalee's eyes widened at the warmth of his lips on hers. She tensed up for a moment at the surprise and a moment of self-consciousness at having never kissed a boy before, but she leaned into it as her worries began to melt away. It felt both too long and too short, and she couldn't help but feel desperate for another kiss as he pulled away. 

She leaned more into his chest, reveling in the warmth of Lavi's chest and the small rumble as he let out a small laugh.

"Komui's going to kill me for that."

Lenalee shook her head and stood on her tiptoes to kiss the other on the cheek. "I'm pretty sure Bookman will kill me first."

Lavi's face went white at that thought. In the moment, he hadn't thought about the repercussions of him kissing Lenalee. She felt guilty upon realizing he hadn't thought about it and took a step away from him, her face suddenly very serious.

"It's okay if we can't--you know," Her voice trailed off at the end there, not _really_ wanting this to be a one-time thing. "I don't want to force you to do anything that will harm your work as a Bookman."

Lavi shifted from one foot to the other, obviously contemplating what he should do. It was one of the longest minutes Lenalee had ever experienced before Lavi's words echoed in her mind.

"I want _you_."

Her eyes shot up towards him, a smile forming on her lips. She hadn't realized just _how_ badly she had wanted him to say something like that until then. Her heart was beating so loudly she felt as if it could burst out of her chest at any moment. Her smile widened and she nodded.

"They can't kill us if they don't know."


	2. Training Day

"I know you can kick harder than that."

Lenalee furrowed her brows, shaking her head. "I mean, I _can_ kick you too hard, you know."

A small laugh escaped Lavi's lips and he shrugged his shoulders. "If I die from a pretty girl kicking me too hard, I think I could die happy." Lenalee's cheeks flushed a pale shade of pink and she glanced towards Kanda quickly, then moved to kick the other as hard as she could without activating her innocence. Lavi, who had become more and more comfortable teasing Lenalee about their relationship, was laughing too hard to dodge the incoming attack, sending him to the ground. Lenalee's hands immediately moved to cover her mouth in surprised, rushing over to come help him up.

"Alright, I deserved that," He teased, taking her extended hand. Lenalee rolled her eyes and moved back towards her previous position. "One more time." The young woman nodded and kicked him once more, which he expertly dodged this time. As Lavi blocked her leg with his arm, he closed the gap between them and wrapped his arms tightly around her, this time his own eyes moving towards Kanda to make sure he wasn't paying attention.

Lenalee's cheeks went bright red as she was held against his body, though he had shielded himself so that he was blocking her line of sight to Kanda. Lavi leaned down to whisper in her ear, a smirk forming on his lips. "You need to be careful. You never know when someone might try to grab you." With that, he kissed her lightly on the side of her head and he squirmed out of Lavi's arms, glancing towards Kanda who had stopped hitting the dummy with his sword.

There was no way in hell he wasn't going to notice this.

"You've got this, come on." Lavi finally said, putting his hands up ready to deflect whatever she had coming.

"You're too loud." Kanda finally said in a sharp tone. Lenalee gave Lavi an annoyed expression before turning towards the other man in the room with a smile.

"Sorry, Kanda! We were just wrapping up anyways. Do you need anything?" He grunted and Lenalee knew right away that it was a stern no. Glancing back towards Lavi, she nodded towards the doorway and he made certain to follow.

"You're too obvious." She said quietly. Lavi allowed a sheepish grin to form on his face and he shrugged his shoulders.

"Kanda's not going to care." He said after a moment. "Do you think he'd ever willingly give me up to Komui?"

"If you annoy him enough, probably."

"Mmm~ I don't think so. That's more Allen's area of expertise." Lavi beamed down at Lenalee.

"You know, we should probably be more caref--" She cut herself off as she felt Lavi grab her arm and drag her in a different direction, his body pinning her close to the wall of a different library with a finger to her lips. It was only then that she realized she could hear the voices of some of the Science Division walking out of a room and in the direction they had been walking.

"Careful, huh?" He whispered once he deemed them far enough to hear. Lenalee rolled her eyes, resting her head against the wall she was still pinned to.

"If _you_ were careful, I wouldn't have had to talk about it." Lavi smiled and he moved one of his hands to lift her chin up gently and press a kiss to her lips. She returned it, though pulled away just as quickly as it had started in fear of someone seeing.

"Come on," She said, pushing him gently off of her.

The boy placed two fingers to his forehead and saluted. "You're the boss."

Instinctively, her feet carried her towards her room where she paused for a moment before opening the door. The other of the two stood awkwardly outside of the doorway as she walked in and didn't turn to face him. He made a confused expression, "I guess I'll see you tomorrow?"

Lenalee turned around and glanced at him, now halfway in her room. "If you want, sure. I was going to invite you in, though."

He paused for a moment, green eyes tracing the door frame as if it were booby trapped by Komui. After a few seconds, he nodded and followed her in before closing the door behind him.

He had never been in Lenalee's room before. Sure, he'd knocked on the door and seen the inside a couple times, but this was a new experience. Green eyes searched every part of the room and although most of it was blank, he made a face at the pillow of Komui sitting on her bed.

"It was a gift." She said, taking note of his confusion. Lavi moved towards the pillow and picked it up, squishing it a few times.

"Brother's always watching, huh?"

She shrugged and moved to grab Lavi's hand, intertwining her fingers with his. "Not here, no." His attention moved immediately back towards Lenalee and he set the pillow down, moving to face her as he gave her hand a gentle squeeze. His eyes took in her soft features and he moved his free hand to brush his thumb along her round cheeks. A part of him felt guilty that someone this beautiful had to endure a life that involved getting beat up as badly as she had been. Someday, it could even kill either of them. A ghost of a smile tugged at one of the corners of his lips and he leaned down to kiss her once more. This time, Lenalee didn't pull away. She let go of his hand and wrapped her arms around his shoulders, prompting him to wrap his around her waist. He squeezed her waist and lifted her up, please to feel her laugh against her lips before he tossed her onto the bed.

So this is what happiness felt like.

He glanced down towards the girl as she lay on the bed, still laughing from him tossing her onto it. His eyes moved up her muscular legs, cheeks burning as they met the small black shorts she wore to train in. Pushing those thoughts away, he moved to sit next to her on the bed instead, running his fingers through her growing hair.

"It's all sweaty." She said, as if that made a difference to him. He shrugged in response.

"I don't mind."

Her smile widened and she turned her head to kiss the inside of Lavi's wrist. She hadn't really had the opportunity to be this affectionate with him before and she was savoring the moment. She couldn't help but wonder just how long they could get away with this secret and what would happen when people eventually found out. Would Lavi be forced to leave? Finally, she sat up so that she could sit face-to-face with him, though he remained quietly studying her.

"What?" She finally asked, and he shook his head with a smile.

"I was just thinking." 

"About what?"

"You." She smiled.

"What about me?"

Lavi paused for a moment, shrugging his shoulders before moving to tuck a hair behind her ear. "I like how strong you are. Physically and emotionally." He let the quietness linger for a moment before starting again, "Even if you definitely made my arm bruise."

Lenalee glanced towards the sleeve of his shirt, rubbing gently where she had hit him when he hadn't been able to block. "I'm only strong because of all of you." She said quietly, gently grabbing his arm to tilt it towards her to kiss the bruise that was forming underneath. "I was a mess before Komui came here." Lavi nodded, having already known that. He had been told to read on all of his comrades, though he had felt guilty doing so. Bookman had told him that it was to find their weaknesses and to know when to abandon them if things got too tough. He couldn't imagine abandoning Lenalee now.

"It might have helped, but that didn't get you here." Lavi moved to kiss just underneath her eye. "It was _your_ strength that helped me."

Lenalee searched his somewhat pained expression as he pulled away. She knew that the guilt of being in a secret relationship was tormenting him when he wasn't supposed to have attachments. Her hand moved to rest on top of his and she gave it a gentle squeeze.

"We can stop this if you're not comfortable hiding this from Bookman." She offered.

"Gramps'll figure it out either way. It's only a matter of time." Lenalee's heart sank upon realizing Lavi was right. He wasn't a Bookman because he _wasn't_ perceptive. "I just want to spend as much time with you as I can before that."

Lenalee nodded, this time being the one to place a finger under his chin and lean in for a slow, gentle kiss.


	3. Small worries

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lenalee's going on her first mission since their confessions! Lavi's always been protective of Lenalee, but now they're both feeling anxious about leaving each other. Ended up apparently being smut so have fun with the new explicit warning.

She couldn't lie, she was a little disappointed that Lavi wasn't included in this mission. Her and Allen were to leave first thing in the morning which, while wasn't unusual, was the first time since her and Lavi had been meeting in secret that she wasn't going to see him for any period of time. The two of them had already said quick goodbyes earlier in the day, but it was surrounded by all the people who couldn't dare know about them.

The young woman rubbed at her eyes as she sat upright in her bed, unable to sleep. She kept glancing out the window, feeling as if she had been sitting there for days, yet the sun refused to come up. Her heart beat heavily in her chest and she tried once more to lay down, cuddling the pillow Komui had given her to her chest. She knew it was futile, however. It was the early hours of the morning and she had tried multiple times before to rest to no avail. Why would now be any different? 

Lenalee cursed herself in her mind. She had been on countless missions without Lavi before, why couldn't she just accept that this was another one of them? They hadn't even labeled what they were to each other. Closing her eyes as tightly as she could, she cursed herself for confessing to him. _You're just friends. You're just friends_. That wasn't the truth, though. Even if they danced around the subject of liking each other more often than not, it was hard to deny that they were the same friends they had been even a couple weeks before. Opening her dark eyes once more, she brought a hand to her lips and traced the shape of her bottom lip gently, feeling the phantom trace of Lavi's lips against her own. _I didn't even get a kiss goodbye_.

Even before this, there was always the chance that when an Exorcist left, they wouldn't come home. This was the sad reality of the world they lived in. They had watched people turn into Fallen Ones, had watched Exorcists die, and even innocent workers within the Black Order. No matter how close you were to someone, they would never truly be safe. You just had to keep hope alive that you would be able to welcome them home again. 

She finally sat up once more, but this time she got up from the bed completely and moved to her dresser. She put on a comfortable shirt, shorts, and slipped on some slippers, not really caring too much about how she looked at the moment. Though Lenalee was admittedly trying to look somewhat nicer when she knew she was going to see Lavi, she knew she couldn't really get away with any excuses if someone caught her this early in the morning. Chances are, the few who were awake wouldn't even notice her but she couldn't take the risk.

She quietly slipped through the halls until she finally stopped at Lavi's door. Her heart was beating loudly inside of her chest, suddenly feeling guilty about showing up at his room this early. Would he be upset if she woke him up? Was he even there? It was definitely possible he was shut away in the library again, but she assumed she probably would have heard about that when she was making some coffee for the Science Division. Taking a deep breath, she finally rapped on the door three times before taking a nervous step backwards. Shuffling could be heard on the other side of the door and after a moment, a groggy Lavi peered back at her through the small crack he had initially opened. His hair was a mess and he hadn't bothered to put a shirt on in addition to the pants she had heard him struggling with in the dark and her eyes darted immediately to the ground. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you. I..." Lenalee paused, her cheeks burn hot, "I couldn't sleep."

Lavi shook his head, rubbing the sleep from his visible eye. He opened the door more and waved her in, which she shuffled into without glancing up at him. When he closed the door behind her and switched the light on, she glanced around the books strewn across the room and realized she hadn't actually seen his room before. He was usually up by the time anyone _had_ to be awake and she had never had a reason to visit him like this. She couldn't say she was surprised--with the sheer amount of books and parts of his uniform draped across a chair, it was kind of exactly what she had imagined it to be like. 

"Everything alright?" He finally asked, digging his hands into the uniform pants she had heard him struggling to get into. She turned her gaze back towards Lavi and responded with a shrug of the shoulders.

"I felt weird not saying goodbye." Lenalee's voice was quiet, but he nodded in response to it. 

"You've done this a million times." The older of the two assured her, taking a step closer towards her. His hands moved to rest on her hips, a tired smile on his lips.

"I know." Dark hues moved away from the other. "I just..." She paused, "worry." One of Lavi's hands moved to the bottom of her chin, guiding her to look him in the eye once more.

"If there is one person in The Order who will always come back, it's you." Lenalee scrunched up her nose despite feeling better because of the compliment.

"So _that's_ why you're always worrying."

"No, I'm always worrying because I don't want you to get hurt." His voice was quiet, though more serious than her own tone had been. The hand at her chin moved to gently run along her jawline, his green eye following along. Lenalee could help but feel more naked than she had ever felt in front of him at the tender gesture and her heart began to beat loudly inside of her chest. "I can't be there to make sure you don't, but I _know_ you'll come back." Lenalee's lips parted slightly, her cheeks feeling warm once more.

A chuckle escaped Lavi's lips as he took in her change of demeanor. The thumb at her hip rubbed her side gently and he leaned his face in so his lips were right at her ear. "You look really cute like this." His breath was hot against her ear and she couldn't help but lean in even further towards his chest. This _hadn't_ been her reason for coming to his room, but she couldn't deny that it wasn't making her feel _better_.

A breathy laugh escaped her lips and she closed her eyes, "You're a tease."

Lavi smirked before kissing her earlobe. " _Am_ I teasing?" He whispered. Her heart skipped a beat at that notion and her grasp around him tightened at the thought. This may have not been what she had intended, but the warm breath in her ear sent her skin trailing down the skin of his back. He finally moved to lock his gaze with hers once more, only to crash down on her lips. Lenalee pressed his body tighter to hers and both his arms moved around her waist, a sudden sense of urgency in their movements. Lavi pressed against her until Lenalee's knees hit the bed, forcing her to sit down. 

The ginger pulled back slightly, "Are you sure?" Lenalee's hands ran along his chest, fingers taking in how fast his heart was beating as well. As soon as she locked her gaze with his, she nodded. One of his hands moved towards her shoulder, urging her to lean back on the bed and she did so without resistance. His fingers ran down her sides until they hit the elastic of the shorts she was wearing. Once again, Lavi glanced up towards her and she returned the gaze with bright red cheeks, the smallest hint of a nod, and her hips writhing underneath him. A smirk formed upon Lavi's lips as he pulled the shorts down to her ankles, taking in the sight of her. He had thought about this before, but never expected it to _actually_ happen. The ginger bit his lower lip before moving between her thighs.

Lenalee hadn't ever had someone like this, but with how quickly she could feel her body warming, she assumed she was the one one inexperienced here. Her ankles wrapped around Lavi's form as he knelt on the bed, urging for more as he licked her clit. There was a moment she wondered how many people he had done this to. A part of her knew she wasn't the first with his flirtatious reputation, but she didn't exactly _mind_ that. In fact, as her body grew warmer, her fingers ran threw the ginger locks and tightened in his hair. A small moan escaped her lips, hips arching towards his face. Another moan escaped and she wasn't quite sure what was happening towards her body--Lenalee had never had sexual relationships with anyone else, and this was a different sensation than her own fingers trying on their own. 

Lavi inserted one finger, then another as he continued to lick her clit. His tongue went up and down, left to right, and circled around it as he thrust into her opening with one finger, then another. He had assumed she was a virgin given her brother's possessiveness of her. He had to admit, this was different than the other girls he had had sexual relationships with. Lavi's cheeks were burning hot and every movement he made brought a new sensation to him as well. His own body ached for hers, though he fought the urge to touch himself just yet. This was one experience--she needed to consent to anything more than this.

Her hips shook underneath him and a loud moan escaped hear lips as her fingers tightened around ginger locks. Her breath was labored as he still pumped her opening gently with the two fingers. That wasn't particularly comfortable, but it gave her enough time to calm down after that initial climax. Lavi gave it an extra couple licks, sending her body shaking in ways she didn't know it could. 

The boy moved slowly on top of her on the bed, one hand supporting him while the other cupped her cheek as she recovered from the initial orgasm. Lavi moved down to kiss the corner of her lips as she recovered herself. He grinded his hips against hers gently, an invitation to continue what they had started. Lenalee took a moment, one arm moving to force Lavi to look in her eyes. He wanted more, and although she hadn't been aware of originally, she ached for more. The young woman's lips crashed into his and one of her hands moved to massage the hard bulge at his crotch. His own fingers moved once more to rub at her clit, trying to make sure it maintained a good amount of wetness. 

A moan of his owned escaped his lips, filling with Lenalee with a sense of control. He dipped his fingers in her once more, and while uncomfortable, wasn't entirely unpleasant.

"Are you _sure?_ " Lavi whispered in her ear. Her nails moved to his chest and scratched his back, her body _aching_ for something more.

 _"Please_." she begged.

One hand moved towards his dick, making sure it lined in with her before gently pushing in. Lenalee let out a pained gasp, causing Lavi to stop as quickly as it happened. After a moment of taking in the pain, she nodded for him to continue and he pushed in once more. It took a moment, but the tightness of her around him despite the thrusting filled him with his own sense of pleasure. When he had fully enveloped himself in her body, he had waited. "When you're ready."

It had taken a couple seconds, but her nails dug hard into her back and she nodded.

He thrust gently. Far more gentle than he usually did, but he understood the circumstances. Hell, a part of him and never wanted a virgin or someone who's brother held her virginity so close to him. But here she was--Lenalee Lee, the person he was falling in love with. As he thrust, he turned her face to meet his. He tried to meet her lips for a breathless kiss, but found himself breathing heavily and hovering over her own lips. 

Lavi could feel his own body becoming overwhelmed. He pulled out of her a few seconds early, leaving a hand to support his body weight as the other finished himself off outside of her and onto his sheets. Her hips still pressed towards his and a smirk formed upon his lips, knowing that she had gotten at least halfway towards a second orgasm. His fingers moved towards her clit once more and this time he laid down next to her as he stroked it with his fingers. Dark hues glanced towards him, though her hands went to rest on top of his.

Lenalee had masturbated multiple times before. She wouldn't lie--she had even touched herself to the boy beside her now. He had been cute and had always shown an interest in her. Her fingers guided his to press harder on her clit, making circling motions as he did so. Her body began to feel heavy once more and her body went into labored breathing. Somehow, this was different than her touching herself. The unexpected nature of his fingers, even though she helped press down against her skin, was something that she had never experienced on her own. It was quicker--her hips began to shake once more underneath his hand until she let out one moan. His lips moved to kiss the crook of her neck, nipping so gently that it wouldn't leave a scar as she felt the orgasm build inside of her until she finally let out a moan deep inside of herself and her whole body shook underneath him.

The ginger was positioned on his side, now running his fingers through Lenalee's hair as she caught her breath. He leaned in to kiss her cheek once more before she was able to look towards him.

"Was it okay?"

"Most of it, yeah." She smiled and gave him a nod. Lavi leaned in once more, giving her a kiss right underneath one of her eyes. A hand moved towards his cheek, fingers running ever so gently along his skin.

As soon as Lenalee turned on her side to meet his gaze, he couldn't help but smile. Fingers continued to run through her hair and his one good eye traced along every aspect of her face. Finally, he leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on her lips.


	4. The next day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> WALK O' SHAMEEEEE. Also where I finally decide if I wanna use Lenalee's manga or anime coloring lmao

Lenalee awoke to a gentle nudging. It took her a moment to gather her surroundings before she shot up in Lavi's bed, eyes wide. _I fell asleep_. Her hands moved to her cheeks, realizing how terrible this could end up being. What time was it? Had someone already gone to wake her up in her room? Were they supposed to have left already? What if someone saw her leaving his room?

She was nudged out of the panic by the sound of Lavi giggling. Black eyes met his and images from the night before came flooding back to her mind. Her cheeks turned a bright shade of red as she glanced down towards her naked body. Her hands moved quickly to pull the covers up to her shoulders, filled with a sudden sense of embarrassment she had never experienced before. This only made the other laugh again, forcing her to turn even more red.

"I think it's a little late for that~" Lavi teased before leaning in to kiss her on the cheek.

"What time is it?" She managed to get out, looking on the floor for her clothes and instead finding them neatly folded on the end of the bed waiting for her. "Why didn't you wake me up earlier?"

"Don't worry, it's still early." He assured her, though his voice soon turned into more of a sing-song voice, "My Lena's so cute when she's sleeping~ I didn't want to wake you." _My Lena._ That certainly caught her off guard and didn't help to lessen the hotness on her face. "Besides, you've got a mission so you should get all the sleep you can get."

"I shouldn't have even slept here to begin with." She said, "Do you know what my brother will do to you if he sees me leaving here?" 

Lavi shrugged, "I'm glad you did." He leaned over from where he was sitting on the edge of the bed to give her a gentle kiss and pulled away with a smile. It was so quick Lenalee hadn't even had much time to kiss him back. "In case it's my last day on Earth."

She returned the smile, but grabbed the pillow she had been sleeping on to smack him with it. "Now turn around and let me get dressed."

Lavi laughed and grabbed the pillow from her. "You're so mean~" He mused, "I've already seen your body, though." The blush returned to her cheeks and she glanced down at the covers she was holding up.

"I-It's still embarrassing!" 

The boy went quiet for a moment, this time being the one unable to meet her gaze. Though he nodded for a moment and stood from the bed, turning his back towards her. Lenalee was uneasy about his quietness but moved from the bed and gathered her clothes. Though, halfway through dressing she was caught off guard by Lavi's question.

"You don't...regret it, do you?" He was so quiet that she wasn't sure if she heard him correctly or not. She stared at his back, taking note about how uncomfortable he looked just by asking that. She put the last item of clothing on quickly before moving to hug him from behind.

"Of course not." She rested her head against his back, giving him a tighter squeeze. "Why would you think that?" The older of the two let out a dry laugh, nervously rubbing the back of his head with one hand and placing the other on one of hers.

"You just seem...uncomfortable, I guess." 

"Not because of last night. I just..." She paused and closed her eyes. "It was my...I just...I haven't _been_ with anyone like this. I'm nervous."

"I'm nervous too, you know." Lavi said quietly. Lenalee let go of him and he turned to face her, his cheeks a light shade of pink. "It meant a lot to me." She hadn't even stopped to consider the fact that _he_ was probably nervous as well. She was certain he had had sex before, but with someone he was in a relationship with? Had Lavi even _had_ a previous relationship? Probably not, given his position as the next Bookman. She nodded before curling both her hands with his and standing on her tip toes to give him a peck on the lips.

"I'm sorry, I should have realized that." He smiled down at her before shrugging his shoulders as if it was no big deal. "I should go, though." Lavi nodded and let go of her hands to instead cup her face, leaning down to kiss her once more. It was slower and more sensual, making Lenalee's heart skipped a beat. The boy rested his forehead against hers upon breaking the kiss and she felt like a part of her was missing.

"Be safe, alright?" He whispered.

"Of course." 

"And if Allen tries anything, I'll frame him for something directed at Kanda~" He teased, this time fully pulling away. The young woman crinkled her nose at him and moved to put on her slippers. She hesitated upon touching the door handle, glancing back at the redhead behind her.

"I really like you, Lavi." She said quietly, watching his cheeks turn a light shade of pink. Before he had the chance to regain his composure, she exited the room.

Thankfully, the halls sounded quiet. She let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding, glancing quickly down each direction to see if the coast was clear before proceeding further towards her room. Her heart was pounding in her chest, especially as her mind continued to recall the warmth of Lavi's body wrapped around her when she had fallen asleep last night. She could feel the warmth returning to her cheeks and brought her hands up, trying to hide them as she let out another exhale.

"Are you alright?" A familiar voice stated down the hall. "You look red." Lenalee immediately felt her heart drop to the pit of her stomach as she glanced up at the white haired boy before her. How long had he been standing there?

"Ah, yeah. I just--" Moving her hands quickly back to her sides, she tried to think of _any_ excuse, knowing full well she couldn't do anything about the blush that was definitely more prominent on her face now that she had been caught coming from Lavi's room. Thankfully, she figured she was probably far enough that he wouldn't have made that connection. At least she had a small victory there. "I was just getting some breakfast."

"Huh?" Allen tilted his head to the side. "I didn't see you there." _Oh no._

"W-We must have just missed each other!" She laughed nervously. "Besides, I wasn't feeling very well so I was sitting farther in the back today. You know." Lenalee motioned to the redness on her cheeks, causing Allen to move closer towards her. Placing a hand on her forehead, she wondered if the loudness in her heart was going to betray her.

"You do feel a bit warm..." He muttered, "You should talk to the nurse! I don't think anyone would blame you if you were too sick to go on the mission." The girl shook her head quickly.

"No! I'm fine! Really. I'll be ready to go in thirty minutes."

"Alright..." Allen nodded, a worried expression still painting his face. "But try not to push yourself too hard, okay?"

Lenalee smiled and nodded. "Of course! I'll sleep on the train and I'll be good as new."


	5. Homeward Bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lenalee returns from her mission.

She had only gotten to see him briefly when she returned to The Order, leaving a disappointed feeling to settle in her stomach for hours on end. She had poked her head in the library, but Bookman was with him at all times. Her mission with Allen was a success and while there had been no Innocence, they had cleared the town of Akuma presence, but there was something that had begun to eat at her mind as she walked through the town, noticing all the people around her.

There were plenty of lovers there. They held hands, laughed, kissed each other in front of other people. Allen had almost spoken up at one point when he had seen Lenalee blush as she imagined Lavi stroking her cheek before leaning down to kiss her gently in front of a bunch of strangers around them. She imagined him bringing her flowers when they met up for coffee, or holding hands as they walked down the road together. This was a life--one she couldn't actually have, but one she _desperately_ wanted. 

As Lenalee sat on her bed, willing away the images from her mind, someone knocked on the door three times. Her heart leapt to her throat as she tossed the pillow, clambering towards the door to open it. A smile beamed down at her and without thinking, her arms moved to wrap around his waist.

"Woah, there." Lavi said, gently stroking her hair as she nuzzled into his chest. He didn't even bother checking to see if someone was coming through the door--the feeling of her arms wrapped around him was something he didn't want to detract from. Lenalee pulled away after a few moments, locking her eyes with his before grabbing him by the shirt and pulling him in the door.

"Bad mission, I take it?" Lenalee shook her head, moving closer towards him once again once he shut the door. Fingers curled into the fabric of his shirt, and she breathed deeply into the scent she hadn't realized she would miss _so_ much. The older of the two let out a gentle laugh, wrapping his arms around her small frame to press her even tighter against him. "I'm right here, Lena." He whispered before kissing the top of her head. The two stayed like that for a long while, his chin on hers while she just curled up in his chest until she was finally ready to take a step back from him.

Lenalee took a deep breath and her heard pounded inside of her chest so hard that she thought it was about to escape. She didn't even really understand why she was so nervous about talking to him. Perhaps it was just that their relationship just felt too taboo to even _dream_ about even strangers knowing? Anything that was behind closed doors or stolen briefly when no one was looking was fair game, but they weren't allowed to be _actually_ happy.

"I want you." Lavi's face turned bright red and he immediately moved to start taking his shirt off. Lenalee's face turned a bright shade of red as she grabbed the hem of his shirt, urging him to pull it down once more. "Th-That's not what I meant! I mean like..." She shrugged, unable to meet his gaze as he pulled his shirt back down, a little disappointed. "I mean...I want...I don't know." She shook her head, deciding against telling him.

Lavi closed the small gap between them, snaking an arm around her waist with one arm and tilting her chin up to look at him with the other. "Tell me." He said, the smallest hint of a smile on his face. A faint tint of pink spread across her cheeks at their proximity, and he couldn't believe how cute she looked.

"It's stupid, so don't laugh, alright?" She pouted. When the boy nodded, she finally let out a sigh. "I just...I want to go on a date."

The redhead blinked a couple times, taken back by the request. "First of all, that's not stupid. But we can go on a date. It's not a big deal." Lenalee returned his confused expression with her own, not having expected it to go this easily.

"What if someone sees us?"

"Next mission we'll just sneak away. We could probably even get away with running an errand for someone in town if you wanted to try sooner. I don't think it'd be that hard to get away from people."

A large smile spread across her lips as stood on her tiptoes, crashing her lips excitedly into his. Lavi laughed into the kiss, a hand moving to tuck a lock of hair behind her ear. She really _was_ impossibly cute sometimes. When she broke the kiss, her fingers curled with his and she moved to sit on the bed, patting the spot next to him as she did so. "I just...sometimes wish that everyone could know. It'd be easier."

He nodded, a grim smile forming upon his lips. "Me too." Pausing for a long while, he squeezed the young woman's hand gently. "You know...I get jealous of Kanda and Allen sometimes." 

Lenalee tilted her head to the side, eyes narrowing a little towards him. There was absolutely _no_ reason for Lavi to be jealous of the two of them and they had been over that already. There was nothing she could do about going on solo missions with Allen, but he knew that the two of them were more like siblings to her than anything else. "There's no reason to be, I told you that."

He shook his head for a moment, shrugging his shoulders. "I know. I _do_ know that. But I just wish at those times I could show them that you want _me._ " He let out a dry laugh. "When you returned from your mission, you had to get through so many hugs before you got to me. I just wish everyone knew so that we had to stop pretending." A smile curled on Lenalee's lips as she moved to run her fingers through his hair.

"Look at you sounding all possessive." She giggled.

"Can you blame me?" He let out a sigh, looking her up and down. She really couldn't. When she had walked through the doors of The Order and saw everyone welcoming them back, she wanted to rush into Lavi's arms. She understood the feeling of him having to watch her patiently as she was rushed with people wishing her and Allen well, though she hadn't yet experienced it herself. Though, I don't think anyone would blame her if she were in his position. Everyone at the order knew how much she cared about her friends and she was always the first to welcome them home.

Lenalee leaned in to kiss him, her heart leaping to her throat. She hoped she never got used to the butterflies that erupted in her stomach every time they touched. The younger of the two moved to straddle him, a smile forming on her lips as she watched his eyebrow raise to look at her. Her hands moved to cup his cheeks before leaning in to tease him with their lips barely touching. His fingers moved up and down her thighs and the gentle sensation was enough to make her consider giving in for a moment. He made her dizzy and she couldn't think straight, but she knew not tonight. Tonight she needed to rest--she was tired and sore from the mission. A breathy laugh escaped her lips and she opened her eyes to take in the intoxicated expression on his face. When she finally leaned in, she could feel his hunger for her in his kiss and the way his hands now gripped desperately at her thighs.

She pulled away after a moment, a small giggle escaping her lips. "I need to rest tonight." 

Lavi raised a brow at her, a smirk forming on his lips. He knew this was too good to be true--Lenalee was definitely still too shy to initiate something. "Who's the tease now~?" She smiled and pecked him on the lips quickly.

"I'm sorry, I just thought you looked really cute last time." He could feel the warmth returning to his cheeks and he placed his hand on her thigh as she got settled sitting next to her once more, this time far more innocent than it had been previously. 

"Are you sore or anything?" He asked and she let out a small groan, following by a nod. He turned to pat behind them. "Lay down. I'll give you a massage."

Her eyes narrowed, wondering if this was a trap or not. "And no funny business?"

Lavi raised his hands innocently and though still wary, she moved to lay down on the bed. It was only when she got comfortable that he let out a small laugh. "Though I'd be happy to go down on you if you're not too tired for _that_." 


	7. Happy birthday, Lavi!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted them to be cute and spend time together for Lavi's birthday. Sleepy library cuddles from Lavi's perspective for once. Pretty short but I think it's cute.

August 10th. It was just another day. In fact, Lavi couldn't even remember the last time he had celebrated it. Since joining The Order, some would make a bigger deal of it than others--Jerry's yakiniku was _especially_ good and Lenalee and Allen had always found small ways to celebrate. But most of the day, he usually was hiding in the library with Gramps to avoid it altogether. He wasn't supposed to form attachments to anyone and to see all of them so happy for him made it harder than he liked to admit. It would leave a guilt that would resonate inside of him for days on end. 

This year was only slightly different. Bookman had been in meetings all day and while Lavi was usually invited to them, Bookman hadn't done so today. Lavi couldn't help but wonder if that was Gramps' own way of letting him celebrate--no duties, just the ability to hide away and read whatever he wanted to read. Today it wasn't anything particularly _educational._ Or, well, to anyone else it wouldn't be. It was just a romance book set around the modern time period--Lenalee had mentioned wanting to go on a date and while he had slight experience with girls, it was never more than just casual flirting. _Everything_ else he had learned from books and that included what girls liked for dates. 

He _did_ feel a little guilty hiding in the library from Lenalee. He was sure she knew where he was and could find him if he wanted, but he had definitely shrugged off any birthday ideas she had given him. Granted, it wasn't as if there was much they could do anything special like she had wanted to do unless they were hanging out in one of their rooms. Images of her disappointed face flashed back to his memory, her dark eyes focusing on the floor. He had tried to assure her it wasn't a _her_ problem, but his problem, but she retreated both physically and emotionally from him. _Idiot_.

Lavi wasn't sure how long he had been reading, but he must had fallen asleep. He felt something wrap around his shoulders, stirring him ever so slightly before feeling soft lips on his forehead. A green eye blinked open, glancing up towards the the girl leaning over him. As soon as she caught his gaze, her cheeks turned a bright shade of pink, forcing a tiny smile to form on his lips. Honestly, whenever she acted cute like that, he couldn't figure out how he had gotten so lucky. 

"Sorry, I didn't mean to wake you." The older of the two sat up from being hunched over the table, shaking his head a little as he adjusted the light blanket she had wrapped around him.

"It's fine~" He waved nonchalantly. "What time is it?"

Lenalee chuckled a little. "Early. Around seven." Lavi flung his head back to stare at the ceiling before letting out a groan. Too early to feel good about going to bed. She seemed to be able to read his mind as well. "I brought you tea. That's how I found you sleeping." Glancing towards the table, he took note of the still hot tea. 

"You didn't have to do that." His voice was quiet as his heart skipped a beat in his chest. It was a normal gesture for Lenalee, but he could still remember the last time she brought him coffee in the library vividly in his mind. _I...I think I like you_. 

Lenalee shook her head in response, a warm smile on her lips. She leaned down to kiss his forehead once more. "Have fun reading."

His stomach was doing flips and he could hear the soft clicking of her heels as she shifted to leave. The warmth that had risen at her presence was quickly fading, and for the first time on his birthday, he really _did_ want someone there with him. "Lenalee?" She turned back to face him, tilting her head to the side in confusion. "Would you stay with me?" She blinked a couple times back at him, obviously confused by his change of heart. However, her shoulders relaxed a little and the familiar warm smile returned to her lips.

"Of course." She moved to the seat next to his, though she knit her brows together as he glanced her up and down. " _What_?" Lavi's hands moved to the legs of her chairs, dragging it loudly across the floor to be right next to his. Lenalee, as she had been known to do now, immediately glanced around the library to search for anyone who might come investigate the noise. It's true, he probably should had thought about the fact that there _might_ have been other people hiding between the other rows of bookshelves, but it was usually just him and Gramps.

"Calm down, it's fine." He knew she was hard to soothe when it came to their relationship, but he moved to shrug one side of the blanket off to wrap around her as well, his hand snaking around her waist to pull her closer to him. She shot back a glance towards him and a still-tired grin formed on his lips at how close their faces were. 

"I-I don't know how to explain this one away if someone catches us."

"We'll hear them before they can see is, it'll be fine." Hell, a part of them didn't care if others found out. He knew he had strayed too far from his path as a Bookman, and it was obvious Gramps had taken note of it as well. Maybe not to this extent, but even on Anita's boat he had tried to remind him that going after Lenalee wouldn't be his place. _A Bookman has no need for a heart_. Lavi reminded himself, feeling his own pumping heavily inside of his chest as she relaxed ever so slightly against him. Lenalee forced the humanity back inside of him no matter how much he resisted.

"I can read to you if you want." He offered as he tried to shake the thoughts from his mind, picking up the small book from the table once more to show her the cover. One of her hands moved to his to tilt the book more towards her, her brows knitting together as she glanced towards him.

"Didn't think that was your kind of book."

" _Any_ books my kind of book."

" _Any_ book?" She chuckled.

"You'd be surprised." Honestly, some of them surprised him as well. 

She smiled a little, catching his eye as she paused before nodding. "Alright, then."

In truth, Lavi had already been nearly done with the book when he had eventually fallen asleep, but he didn't want to disturb Lenalee to get up and get another one. She shifted a little beside him so she could wrap her arms around his waist and rest her head on his shoulder, glancing at the pages as he flipped to the beginning to start it over again. He had to admit, she was a good listener. He could feel her shift beside him at particularly romantic parts of the book, or parts where there was obvious frustration with the characters. 

It was approximately an hour and a half later that he noticed she no longer reacted to the story. He glanced down towards her, making sure to move as little as possible as he confirmed that she had fallen asleep. Lavi couldn't help but smile before closing the book and resting his cheek on the top of her head. He closed his eyes, though he was far too intoxicated by the feeling of Lenalee leaning on him to feel tired enough to fall asleep. He just sat there, taking in every little twitch or noise she made against him. It had been like this when she had spent the night in his room as well--how could he have slept with her curled up against him? God, he knew he'd have to get used to that eventually. But for now, what did losing sleep matter if it meant he could savor this time?

They couldn't sit there forever, though. He knew she'd never forgive him if he let someone walk in on them. Carefully, Lavi kept his hand supporting her so he could get up slowly. Lenalee shifted a little bit, her eyes fluttering open for just a second. "Hm...?"

Lavi let out a breathy chuckle as he picked her up bridal style. He was sort of surprised when she didn't bother fighting against him and instead just began falling asleep once more. It's true she'd been working harder ever since she had gotten the crystal type Innocence, but he hadn't pieced together just _how_ much it must have been for her not to freak out at him carrying her. He adjusted her a little so her arms were wrapped around his shoulders, giving her just a little bit of stability as he made his way towards her room.

About halfway there, he could feel those arms squeeze a little around him, but she didn't made a sound. Maybe he had been wrong and she had fully woken up when he had tried to move her, but he couldn't help but smile just a little bit at the fact that she was pretending to be asleep so he would carry her. He couldn't help but let out another low chuckle, which she responded to with a quiet "Hm?"

"You're just cute." He whispered into her head resting at his collarbone. 

Upon reaching her door, he awkwardly maneuvered to open the door, prompting Lenalee to stop her facade for just long enough to raise her head. "I can get down now."

"Absolutely _not_." Lavi stated, squeezing her a little tighter before actually managing to swing it open. He crossed the rather bare room to gently place her on the bed, a wide grin upon his lips. Her dark hues glanced up towards him, though her expression was blank aside from the tiredness that still shown plainly on her features. "Get some rest." He whispered before turning on his heel.

"Lavi?" The ginger glanced back towards her for a moment, taking note of her outstretched hand. This time, it was his turn to be confused. He turned towards her once more, linking their hands together. She gave him a gentle squeeze, a smile forming on her lips. "Happy birthday."

He smiled once more before leaning down to kiss her gently on the lips. She was gentler than normal, less eager to melt against his touch. A part of him was disappointed, but he understood. He pulled away gently and her fingers unlaced his, but the tired smile remained. "Thank you."

He walked backwards, keeping his green eye locked on Lenalee as she shifted to her side, staring back at him. He paused in the still-open doorway, leaning against the frame for a moment to get one last long look at her. "Goodnight, Lenalee."


End file.
